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Cpt. Thomas Charles Gifford ( gelöscht )

17.02.2009 21:43
Was zum Schmunzeln Antworten

Zur Aufheiterung:

Sachen die Re-enactor und Mitarbeiter des National Park Service während ihren Darstellungen auf den Schlachtfeldern und im Museumsdorf Williamsburg so alles gefragt werden von dummen Zuschauern:

-"Why aren't there any bullet holes in the monuments?"

-"Did the soldiers hide behind the monuments?"

-"How come all of the battles were fought on National Park Service land?"

-"Excuse me, do you work for the railroad?"

-(Zu einem Mann der ein Spanferkel über einem Feuer grillt:) "Is that thing actually wax?"

-"Did you fight in the Civil War?"

-"Are you Amish?"

-"Did the Americans win the war?"

-"During the Battle of Gettysburg, why didn't the Union Generals just go to the top of that big tower to see where the Confederates were?" (1970 wurde dieser riesige Aussichtsturm errichtet und ragt futuristisch über das Schlachtfeld)

-"Where did they store the monuments when the battle was going on?"

-"They actually had rope back then?"

-"How do you get all the flags to fly in the same direction?"

-"What does it feel like to be hit by the bullets?"

-"Are those horses real?"

-"Did they shoot the drummers first?"

-"How much is this wooden lantern, there's no price on it...OH! I thought this was a yard sale."

-"Is that real water in your canteen?"

-"How many port-a-potties did the Union buy during the Civil War?"

-"How come the soldiers didn't sleep in a hotel?"

-(Der Verkäufer bei Burger King auf dem Rückweg:) "So did you see General Washington today?"

-(Während einer Führung durch das Felsmassiv Devil's Den in Gettysburg:) "Were these rocks here during the Civil War?"

-From Mike F:
While working at Fort Snelling here in Minnesota, I, along with the other musicians, had to paint or whitewash the walls of the officers' quarters. While doing this, a lady came up, put her hands into the bucket of paint, and was shocked as she pulled her hands out and said, "Ah, that's real paint."

-From Ben D:
My family does a civilian impression, and here are two hilarious questions they have been asked: (Referring to my little sister who was sleeping on a quilt) "Is that a real baby?" Another spectator seemed very interested and well informed, until she asked, "Now did they have babies back then?"

-From John R:
One of the impressions I do is 2nd U.S. (Berdan's) Sharpshooters, who wore green uniforms as the mark of an elite rifle regiment. Most people just ask me what the green uniform means, but a few just have to guess. The ones I've had were (1) Irish Brigade (no, they were dressed the same as everyone else); (2) Italian mercenary (um...what?); (3) Green Mountan Boys (sorry, wrong war); and (4) my personal favorite, Civil War Park Ranger.

-From Martin G:
After lecturing a fifth grade class at my son's school, I thought I would surprize him and say hello to his second grade class. I was met at the door by a young man who was his student teacher; the man looked at me from head to toe and proceded to ask me if I was dressed as a PILGRIM!!! Although I find this story funny, I also find it upsetting!! To think my seven year old knows more about the Civil War than his teacher!

-From Bob B:
As a youngster in the 70's, I was a tour guide at Old Fort Mifflin in Philadelphia. The fort's history spans from the Rev. War to WWII; during the CW it was used as a POW camp. Today, the fort is next to and under the flight path of the Philadelphia Int. Airport. One day I was leading a group around the fort telling them about the battle of Fort Mifflin in 1777, and then a jet on its way to Philly Int. sailed over us. After the noise subsided, one of the adults in the group asked why they had to build the fort so close to the airport![grin]

-From Dean K:
My wife heard a woman at a recent reenactment exclaim to her friend, "You know, those cannon balls come out of there so fast that you just can't see them," referring to one of our artillery pieces that was in the process of repeatedly firing. Naturally, my wife could not resist the opportunity to gently remind the woman that we really weren't actually trying to kill the Johnnies and we were only firing powder charges. She said the woman looked at her like she didn't believe her.

-From Mike B:
We have a medical unit that sets up an 'amputation' station. They have a guy who has already lost a leg in an accident and they bring him up in a stretcher with a fake leg from the knee down. They make a great show of hoisting him up on the table, holding him down and sawing off the fake leg - fake blood squirting out around the wound, him screaming the whole time. Then they throw it down in a bucket. It looks pretty convincing. I was an orderly one time, and after the guy passed out, this woman said, "Bet they don't get many volunteers for that part..." I thought she was joking, but she was serious.

-From Aimee G:
One time we had our hospital tent set up right next to the "battlefield." As spectators neared the battlefield, many of them stopped to have a look at the different things we had set up on a table. One of the things that caught many people's attention were the "leeches" that were laying at the bottom of a bowl. Doc had thrown a fake finger into the mix just for fun, when a lady came up and looked into the bowl, shocked. Suddenly she asked, "Is that a real finger?" This question both made me chuckle and feel slightly upset - of course it wasn't a real finger!

-From Matt T:
I'm a Rev. War drummer and one day our Lt.'s son was in a period uniform and walking a dog which the breed dates back to 1700, when a man came up to him and asked, "Did they have dogs back then?" Another favorite question of ours is, "Are you a pirate?"

Mein Favorit: :
Several years ago when I was in the light artillery, I stored the cannon in my garage. We were unloading it and pushing it into the garage one day when a very concerned "soccer mom in SUV" demanded to know what we were doing with a cannon in her neighborhood. With a straight face I told her it was part of the neighborhood watch program. She went for it and we would have let it go, but my pards and I were laughing so hard we had to tell her the truth. She just left and never bothered me again. At reenactments, when our cannon was close to the crowd and the Rebs fired their cannon at us, as a group we would look up into the air and follow a phantom cannon ball by moving our heads. After a few rounds, we had the crowd looking up and trying to see what we were seeing.

-From Eric G:
We were doing a living history event at Kennesaw Mountain in Georgia. We of course get all the normal "duh" questions like "Which side won the war," but one lady asked us (and she was serious) "Is this the original location of the mountain?" Without missing a beat, our Captain told her "No ma'am, actually in the 1930's the CCC (Civilian Conservation Corp) moved it to its present location from a site about 4 miles east of here." He went on to tell her that it took approximately 35,000 dump truck loads to complete the move. She was very impressed to say the least. He afterwards told her the truth.

-From Sam H:
Our Navy Rev. War reenacting group gets alot of pirate questions and being that our coats are blue we get alot of people that think we are Colonial. I thought that I had heard most of the dumb questions when a year or two ago a lady at Colonial Williamsburg suprised me once again. She walked up with a young girl about 4 and was of couse telling her all the wrong information about the camp site. We were sitting around the camp fire and she proceeded to the lantern next to me and asked the girl what it was. The girl of course said a lantern. The mom proceeded to correct her and said no, that was what they drained their food through to get the bugs out, I guess because there were holes for the lights to come through.

Viel Spaß


Captain Thomas Charles Gifford - Adjutant

Pvt. Wesley Baker Offline


Beiträge: 401

08.09.2009 08:36
#2 RE: Was zum Schmunzeln Antworten

Private Wesley Baker
2nd US Cav. A-Cy, 1st Platoon

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